Double O meets Neon Genesis Evangelion
by Double O
Summary: The worst fanfic I ever wrote. EVER! This is NOT characteristic of any of my present work, excluding the first stab I took, which was actually better. Anyways, read it and comment, so I can figure out where I went wrong with this one.


Double O meets Neon Genesis Evangelion: When Angels Deserve to Die  
  
A Double O crossover by Double O.  
  
Double O is property of me, as is William Lecarde. Utena Tenjou is from Revolutionary Girl Utena, property of Be Papas, and created by Chiho Saitou. Neon Genesis Evangelion is property of Gainax, and created by some guy whose name escapes me at this present moment. The companies that dub the previously mentioned animes are Central Park Media and ADV. I don't own those, either.   
  
Please note that this is my earliest work, and was written with the intent of making me and a few of my friends laugh. Also note that I hadn't finished watching Eva at the time I wrote this fic, which is why Karou doesn't act anything like he does in the series. Therefore, if you are reading this, please read my other stories too. I swear I've improved! Honest!  
  
Setting: (Nerv Central Dogma. The warning alarms start going off, people start to scramble over all over the place. Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, Misato Katsuragi, Fuyutski, and Commander Gendou Ikari are all watching the moniter in disbelief)  
  
Misato: What the hell!  
  
Ritsuko: It can't be!  
  
Gendou: Units 03 and 04 are back! Check the condition of the fourth children!  
  
(Maya calls up the Suzuhara household. Her eyes bulge in disbelief)  
  
Maya: Sir! The Fourth Children's limbs have regenerated! It's INCREDIBLE!  
  
Gendou: What could be causing this?  
  
(Cut to a shot of outer space. A rather large and advanced space ship is orbiting above the earth. Inside, a young male, apparently 21 years in age, is beating on a coffee machine. A younger girl with pink hair is laying on a couch near the door, and a third person, dressed completely in black and holding a strange spear-like object is shaking his head in disbelief)  
  
Double O: STUPID COFFEE MACHINE! I NEED CAFFINATED SUSTINANCE! *punches machine*  
  
Utena Tenjou: Give it a rest, will ya? I'm trying to get some *Yawns* sleep.  
  
William Lecarde: Yeah, Owen. I mean, you know that thing's unreliable. Plus, you should be checking to see what changes have occured due to our presence here.   
  
Owen: Oh yeeaaahhh! *checks computers* Well, we've popped up in the Neon Genesis Evangelion universe.   
  
Utena: Neon Genesis Whosawhatsit?  
  
Will: Evangelion. It's an anime series that has a rather interesting plot and mecha.   
  
Utena: What's it about?  
  
Owen: *Eyes start to glow* KNOWLEDGE EVA! *Beam shoots from pointed finger and hits Utena*  
  
Utena: What in the hell?!?  
  
Will: Exactly. So, what's changed?  
  
Owen: Well, Toji's got his arm and leg back, Tabris is back, Unit 03's regenerated itself, and Unit 04, NERV's second base, and Nevada have returned.   
  
Will: Really! So, what's up with the two EVA's?  
  
Owen: Unit 03 has been captured by NERV, and 04 has been captured by Tabris.   
  
Utena: So, what are we gonna do?  
  
Owen (sparkle in his eyes): We'll build our own Evangelion!!!  
  
Will: Ah, crap... I knew he'd do that.  
  
Owen: But before we do that, i've got some work to do. COMPUTER!  
  
Computer: Yes, Owen?  
  
Owen: Begin accelerated construction of Evangelion Unit XX  
  
Comp: Which angel DNA pattern should be used?  
  
Owen: My own.  
  
Comp: Yes sir.   
  
Owen: Okay. Now to call NERV central Dogma.  
  
(Inside NERV's ready room. Shinji Ikari, Asuka Langley Sohryu, Rei Ayanami III, and Toji Suzuhara have assembled, along with Misato and Ritsuko)  
  
Ritsuko: Due to some strange phenomena, Karou, Unit 03, and Unit 04 have been brought back. Thankfully, Unit 03 is in working order, and no traces of an angel have been detected. Plus, since Toji has somehow regenerated his lost limbs, he can resume his role as the Fourth Children.   
  
Shinji: Karou's... alive?  
  
Misato: Yes, but you must remember, he's an angel. You must destroy him again at all costs.   
  
Toji: Are you sure that I'll be fine inside Unit 03? Last time...  
  
Asuka: Shut up, dumkopf. If you can't handle it, don't cry about it! Let ME handle it!  
  
Rei: Just don't have a nervous breakdown this time.   
  
Shinji: Don't worry Toji, you'll be fine. Ritsuko said that Unit 03's fully functional now.   
  
(Maya runs up)  
  
Maya: Dr. Akagi, Major Katsuragi! You have to see this!  
  
(Ritsuko, Misato, and the four children run to the Command Center)  
  
Owen: Well, if it isn't Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, Major Misato Katsuragi, and the four EVA pilots!  
  
Misato: How do you know...  
  
Owen: I know quite a bit about NERV, Miss Misato. I can shed some light onto why Tabris, Units 03 and 04, and Toji are back at full potential. You see, I'm an interdimentional travelling explorer. Whenever I enter a universe, the timeline gets messed up a little bit, and unexplained phenomena like this occur. Sometimes it's not great, like a person avoids injury and such. Other times, like now, rather important changes happen. Don't worry, I'll right the wrongs and leave soon, and then everything'll be back to normal.   
  
Ritsuko: Fascinating! But, why don't you just leave?  
  
Owen: Because then the timeline will remain like this, and you won't be able to fix it.   
  
Shinji: Makes sence  
  
Owen: DAMN RIGHT! So, I'm constructing a weapon that I'll be able to use to help you out. See ya lata! *comm shuts off*  
  
Misato: Right! Let's get ready to battle! You four, get ready to battle!  
  
(While the four children get ready to battle, Eva unit XX has been completed. It's body style is identical to that of Unit 01, but has a completly black paint job with a white "X" going over the chest. It has a hidden S2 organ for power, and is armed with a standard issue NERV particle Cannon)  
  
Will: You sure this is going to work?  
  
Owen: Yeah! When have I ever let you down?  
  
Will: Millions of times, but that's beside the point. Utena, you ready?  
  
Utena: Yep. I've got the transport all loaded and ready. I'll watch the homefront.   
  
Will: Good. I'll transport you to the launch site and drop you off there. Be prepared for anything!  
  
Owen: I'm always prepared. UNIT XX - ACTIVATE!  
  
(The EVA's eyes light up and the AT Field is spread)  
  
Will: Let's go!  
  
(The transport flys out of the hangar and enters the Earth's atmosphere. Meanwhile, the EVA units 00 to 03 have launched and are standing by at the designated intercept point)  
  
Shinji: Where the hell is this Owen guy?  
  
Asuka: HE'S LATE! DUMMER AMERICANER!  
  
Rei: He should be here soon  
  
Toji: This is pretty cool!   
  
Shinji: Yeah, you won't be saying that when you get shot.   
  
Toji: Sure, Shinji. *Spots something* Hey, what's that?  
  
Owen: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!  
  
Will: Unit XX away!   
  
(Unit XX's restraints are deactivated, and the EVA lands in front of the other four units. Owen stands up, grasping the particle cannon with both hands)  
  
Owen: So, waddaya think?  
  
Shinji: You built an EVA?!? HOW!  
  
Owen: Easily. Take DNA, design a mech, and construct. Simple, and effective!  
  
Asuka: MEIN GOTT! He's here!  
  
(Unit 04, being piloted by Tabris, shows up on top of a hill)  
  
Tabris: Yoo hoo, Shinji boy! I'm BAAAACK! *Unit 04 does Jazz Hands*  
  
Rei: I'm ready  
  
Shinji: Karou...  
  
Asuka: He piloted my EVA... HE'S MINE!  
  
Toji: What a homo...  
  
Owen: He's certantly one big flaming ball of gay, alright.   
  
Tabris: Hey, that's not nice. (Unit 04 points at Unit XX with a limp wrist) You play nice!  
  
Owen: *Cough*flamer*cough*  
  
Toji: Well, he's all yours Asuka  
  
Asuka: DIE!!!!   
  
(Unit 02 charges Unit 04, pulls out a progressive stave, and tries to cut Unit 04 in half. Tabris spreads his AT field, and stops the stave from penetrating. Unit 04 then jabs its progressive knife into Unit 02's belly-area, causing Asuka to screech in pain.)  
  
Shinji: ASUKA! NO!!!  
  
Rei: He's mine.   
  
(Unit 00 uses an N2 mine and, grabbing onto Unit 04, detonates the mine. Units 01, 03, and XX see the blast)  
  
Toji: She's insae!  
  
Shinji: REI!!!  
  
Owen: Looks like it's time for Rei IV.  
  
(Unit 04 walks from the blast, damaged but not dead, with Unit 00's left arm in its right hand. Tabris is laughing maniacly)  
  
Shinji: Stop, please...  
  
Owen: Your turn, Shinji  
  
Shinji: But it's another human! I can't kill another person!  
  
Owen: Fuck it!   
  
(Unit XX jacks Unit 01 across the face)  
  
Shinji: What was that for, you bastard  
  
Owen: Stop being such a selfish pussy and kill that fucking thing now, God Damnit!  
  
(Unit 01 goes berzerk. It charges Tabris and puts Unit 04 into a Full Nelson)  
  
Owen: Yes! Toji, drive your stave through Unit 04's body NOW!  
  
Toji: Right!  
  
(Toji does so, and successfully damages Unit 04's S2 engine)  
  
Owen: C'mon out, Tabris. I've got a present for you  
  
(Tabris exits Unit 04)  
  
Tabris: Whaaat? *Puts hand on hip, rather gayishly*  
  
Owen: THIS!  
  
(Unit XX points the particle cannon point blank in front of Tabris and fires, obliterating the 17th angel. NERV recovers Units 00, 01, 02, and 03. Owen quickly transports Unit 04 to the Nevada base. The Damaged S2 engine explodes, trapping most of the state of nevada in a Sea of Daracht.)  
  
Owen (to NERV HQ): Well, it's time for me to get going. When I leave, everything will return to the way it was before I entered the timeline.   
  
Gendou: Good work, Owen. You took out the enemy better than I thought you could  
  
Owen: I know. I just did what I thought you would have done.   
  
Shinji: I hate you, Owen.  
  
Owen: And I hate you, you sorry excuse for a mecha pilot. There's a reason you can only get guys to fall in love with you.   
  
(Asuka and Toji start to laugh hysterically)  
  
Owen: Good bye, and Asuka, don't let Shinji choke you!   
  
(Will picks up Owen in Unit XX and exits the atmosphere. The dropship returns to the hangar, and Evangelion Unit XX is put into cold storage)  
  
Utena: Wow. And I though my show had some bitchy characters.   
  
Owen: Well, Asuka was rather well behaved today. I guess she got some from Kaji when we showed up.   
  
Utena: Eww... Kaji reminds me of Akio  
  
Owen (shocked): NOBODY'S AS BAD AS AKIO!!!!  
  
Will: Yeah, Utena. Owen's got a point. Kaji normally doesn't lay 14-year-old girls  
  
Owen: Or is little sister...*shudders*  
  
Utena: Yeah, you have a point. But he has a cool car!  
  
Owen: I know. I stole it! *Shows Utena the Akio Car*  
  
Utena: No WAY!!!!  
  
Will: I'm not even gonna ask...  
  
Owen: Damn right! Computer! Prepare for dimention jump!  
  
Comp: Understood. Dimention jump in 3...2...1...GO!  
  
(The ship turns green, then blue, then red, then disappears in a flash of light.)  
  
The End... for now!!!! 


End file.
